How to Enjoy the Superbowl When You Don't Care about Football

In any sport, championship season can be stressful for non-fans.  So many people are getting worked up, and you really just don't care.  In the U.S., the peak of sports mania is the SuperBowl.  Women complain that their husbands ignore them.  And even the commercials in the televised SuperBowl are expensive and entertaining. 

Nevertheless, it is possible to enjoy the SuperBowl without being a football fan.  This approach consists of two parts.  1) Go to a SuperBowl party, and 2) fake it.  Sure these crazy fans can be annoying, but they are probably throwing a party, and who doesn't like a party?  All you need to do is act pleasant, choose a team, and wear the right colors.  Generally speaking, it's best to choose the team of the host of the party.  If you show up wearing the right colors and rooting for the host's favorite team, you can pretty much enjoy the party for the rest of the night.  If no one you know is throwing a party, you can throw one yourself. 

Superbowl parties usually have savory, fatty foods, like nachos, burgers, and pizza.  Beer is the drink of choice.  There are usually some other guests who are mainly there for the party, and you can chat with them during the game.  Even the serious fans will tear themselves away from the game once in a while to chat with the other party guests.  There is only one catch to socializing instead of watching the game.  When there is a dramatic moment in the game, such a touchdown or a bad call by the ref, all the serious fans will start yelling at the T.V. or at each other or just yelling at no one.  In these cases, you need to pull away from the chit-chat and act concerned.  If it's a touch down, give everyone in the room a high-five.  If it's a bad call, watch the replay and complain; if you have absolutely no idea why it's a bad call, then it's usually okay to ask, "Why was that offsides?" or "Why didn't they count that touchdown?" or "What counts as excessive celebration?"  You don't have to know everything about the game, but you do have to pretend to care.

If your team is winning, then you must stay until the end of the game, maybe longer.  No one would walk out while their team is winning.  You may even want to stay for the expert analysis, interview with the players, etc.  It may be okay to leave if your team is way ahead, if you have a really good excuse, like you have a job interview at seven in the morning.  If the score is close, however, you'd probably better stay to the end.

On the other hand, if your team is way behind, you may be able to leave earlier.  Real fans often leave early because they are so depressed about the thought of their team losing.

So now you've attended a party, had some party food, and chatted with some guests.  The next day at work everyone will be talking about the game, and you'll have something to say about it.   

Some of the Faking It has been covered in the Go to a Super Bowl Party section.  If you don't go to a party, but still want to fake it, here's how to do it.  First know which teams are playing.  Second, choose a team, either team.  Third, choose a reason for choosing that team. 

This third part is easier than it sounds, because you don't really need a good reason.  Real fans are desperate to talk about the SuperBowl.  As long as you say SOMETHING, they will enjoy the conversation.  Here are some I've heard.  "I love the Packers because they are owned by the fans" (I'm not sure what that mean, but I've heard it more than once).  "I love the Cowboys because I remember the Roger Staubuck days."  "I'm a big fan of Brett Favre (and whatever his team is)."  Whatever team you choose, defend your decision and don't change your mind the week of the SuperBowl. 

The fourth part is to know some players.  You don't need to know a lot, but you should at least know the stars of your chosen team.  You can find this out on ESPN.  Who's having a good season, who's underperforming, who's injured, how to pronounce their names.  If you team has been involved in a scandal, it's good to know that too.

This information should get you through the SuperBowl.  I hope you enjoy the party, and your chosen team wins.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the regular season.